SALOOT LYRICS
Bounce! Jithe khada tera yaar uthe vajjde saloot Main chakk ke kalam saare vair…
Showing posts from March, 2021
Pulariyil Achante Lyrics from movie Vellam |
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Music : Bijibal Singer : Ananya Movie : Vellam Pulariyil Achante Lyrics à´ªുലരിà´¯…
Enjaami Lyrics | Dhee ft. Arivu - Enjoy Enjaami Lyrics
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Cuckoo cuckoo... Thaatha thaatha kala vetti Cuckoo cuckoo... Pondhula …
THATTAAN THATTAAN LYRICS ENGLISH – KARNAN | DHANUSH
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Thattaan Thattaan Song Detail Film/Album: Karnan by Dhanush Lyrics by: Yugabhar…
Aakasha Gangayude Karayil Lyrics Malayalam | Omanakuttan - 1964
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ആകാശഗംà´—à´¯ുà´Ÿെ à´•à´°à´¯ിà´²് à´…à´¶ോകവനിà´¯ിà´²് ആരെà´¯ാà´°െà´¤്à´¤േà´Ÿിവരുà´¨്à´¨ൂ വസന്തപൌà´°്à´£്ണമി à´¨ീ? ആകാശഗ…
I get more motivated by the phrase “F**k it” than any other motivational phrase
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I get more motivated by the phrase “F**k it” than any other motivational phrase…
Men tell their daughters and sisters not to talk to strangers but get upset when women who don’t know them don’t want to talk to them.
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Men tell their daughters and sisters not to talk to strangers but get upset whe…
There is no sleep as comfortable as the sleep you shouldn’t be sleeping.
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There is no sleep as comfortable as the sleep you shouldn’t be sleeping.
When Hollywood actors brush their teeth in movies there’s no toothpaste foam. When I brush my teeth I get foam on my lips, my chin, my shirt, the mirror and my toes.
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When Hollywood actors brush their teeth in movies there’s no toothpaste foam. W…
They say money can’t buy happiness, but antidepressants sure aren’t free.
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They say money can’t buy happiness, but antidepressants sure aren’t free.
No matter how talented you are you will most likely need to know the right people to truly succeed.
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No matter how talented you are you will most likely need to know the right peop…
Ironically, the inventor(s) of the Telephone wanted to bring people closer together.
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Ironically, the inventor(s) of the Telephone wanted to bring people closer toge…
A marriage proposal is only one knee away from begging.
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A marriage proposal is only one knee away from begging.
One day you’re not old and the next day you have a favourite supermarket.
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One day you’re not old and the next day you have a favourite supermarket.
It seems like everyone in university is smarter and more qualified than you… except your group project members.
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It seems like everyone in university is smarter and more qualified than you… ex…
Isn’t it weird how we basically have an endless mental conversation with ourselves.
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Isn’t it weird how we basically have an endless mental conversation with oursel…
You're always free to do whatever you want until you're told you're not.
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You're always free to do whatever you want until you're told you're…
You spend your entire life waiting for something.
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You spend your entire life waiting for something.
Depression is like wanting to go home but already being there.
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Depression is like wanting to go home but already being there.
The reason Ouija boards say “Don’t play alone.” is because if you did, nothing would happen.
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The reason Ouija boards say “Don’t play alone.” is because if you did, nothing …
We run everywhere in video games because we're too lazy to walk, but In real life we walk everywhere because we're too lazy to run.
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We run everywhere in video games because we're too lazy to walk, but In rea…
Humans invented machines to skip some effort and now go to gym to make up for the skipped effort. We humans are weird.
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Humans invented machines to skip some effort and now go to gym to make up for t…
People are more depressed now because they can do nothing and still be able to survived. Back in the day they had no other choice to do something in order to survive. Lack of purpose is a big factor in Somebody heard snoring and thought, "Yeah, that's the letter Z."
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People are more depressed now because they can do nothing and still be able to …
The biggest injustice in this miserable life is the fact that exhaustion stacks up but sleep doesn't.
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The biggest injustice in this miserable life is the fact that exhaustion stacks…
Depression feels like being tired of a long days work even though you’ve been home doing nothing.
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Depression feels like being tired of a long days work even though you’ve been h…
Peoples mental state would be a lot different if they remembered all the times they made people laugh instead of all the times they failed.
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Peoples mental state would be a lot different if they remembered all the times …
If you go to jail for tax evasion, you’re living off taxes because you didn’t pay taxes.
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If you go to jail for tax evasion, you’re living off taxes because you didn’t p…
If you get a girl home and she’s wearing matching underwear, it wasn't your idea to have sex.
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If you get a girl home and she’s wearing matching underwear, it wasn't your…
There is nothing more relaxing than going to bed at night and knowing that your schedule is free the next day.
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There is nothing more relaxing than going to bed at night and knowing that your…
If humans suddenly lost the ability to tell lies, the world would be in flames in a matter of hours.
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If humans suddenly lost the ability to tell lies, the world would be in flames …
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them, they die.
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Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them, they die.
Clothes that are not dirty enough to go to the laundry but not quite clean for the closet, go to the chair.
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Clothes that are not dirty enough to go to the laundry but not quite clean for …
You never realize just how well you can impersonate yourself until you're struggling with depression.
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You never realize just how well you can impersonate yourself until you're s…
An onion is the bass player of food. You would probably not enjoy it solo, but you’d miss it if it wasn’t there.
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An onion is the bass player of food. You would probably not enjoy it solo, but …
We don't teach kids how to learn, we teach them how to pass.
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We don't teach kids how to learn, we teach them how to pass.
As a kid you think adults are these very serious people, then you grow up and realise everyone's just a big kid trapped in a system.
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As a kid you think adults are these very serious people, then you grow up and r…
You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed simply by forgetting your wife’s birthday.
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You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed simply by forgetting your wife’…
Working in groups in school was never meant to teach you teamwork. It was meant to teach you the incompetence of your co-workers.
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Working in groups in school was never meant to teach you teamwork. It was meant…
Maybe crickets have the exact opposite sense of humor to us, so whenever you hear crickets after a bad joke it’s just your tiny fan club absolutely dying with laughter.
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Maybe crickets have the exact opposite sense of humor to us, so whenever you he…
Procrastinating is just enjoying all of the side quests of life while delaying the real mission at hand.
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Procrastinating is just enjoying all of the side quests of life while delaying …
Sleep is such a weird concept. You lie there with your eyes closed doing nothing, then all of the sudden your mind just stops, but you have no memory of when this happens when you wake up..
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Sleep is such a weird concept. You lie there with your eyes closed doing nothin…
The most unrealistic part of any superhero show is the part where the super hero can hold down a 9-5 job, stay out late, and function properly on almost no sleep.
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The most unrealistic part of any superhero show is the part where the super her…
We spend 20 years of our life learning, to work for next 40 years so that we can afford to live out the next 20 years.
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We spend 20 years of our life learning, to work for next 40 years so that we ca…
As an adult, truly realising that “you can do whatever you want” is the most inspiring and terrifying thing in the world.
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As an adult, truly realising that “you can do whatever you want” is the most in…
We would all be happier if we believed the good things people say about us instead of the bad things we think about ourselves.
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We would all be happier if we believed the good things people say about us inst…
There are people out there you haven’t met yet who will love you.
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There are people out there you haven’t met yet who will love you.
A person that does something dumb becomes cute if you like them.
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A person that does something dumb becomes cute if you like them.
When the person you’re dating asks “What are we?” it’s like the free trial period has expired and you have to decide whether or not to get a subscription.
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When the person you’re dating asks “What are we?” it’s like the free trial peri…
If chickens are ever able to tell the story of their species, humans are gonna look like the most evil villains in history.
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If chickens are ever able to tell the story of their species, humans are gonna …
Sex between a man and a woman usually involves the woman doing everything she can to orgasm while the man does everything he can to not orgasm.
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Sex between a man and a woman usually involves the woman doing everything she c…
Maybe ghosts DO exist, but they’re all out exploring jungles or mountains, instead of haunting people in boring houses.
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Maybe ghosts DO exist, but they’re all out exploring jungles or mountains, inst…
Sometimes being a known as a “good kid” growing up meant you weren’t very good at being a kid.
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Sometimes being a known as a “good kid” growing up meant you weren’t very good …
Admitting that you are wrong is the same as acknowledging that you learned something.
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Admitting that you are wrong is the same as acknowledging that you learned some…
It would be cool to have a movie shot by 2 directors and 2 versions released showing the protagonists and antagonists story.
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It would be cool to have a movie shot by 2 directors and 2 versions released sh…
When someone accuses you of being lazy, it’s almost always because you aren’t doing something they want you to do; so it’s a shaming tactic rather than constructive criticism.
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When someone accuses you of being lazy, it’s almost always because you aren’t d…
The only thing separating you from certain death at 65mph is a painted white line and a mutual agreement to not play bumper cars.
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The only thing separating you from certain death at 65mph is a painted white li…
Adulthood is like losing your mom in the grocery store for the rest of your life.
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Adulthood is like losing your mom in the grocery store for the rest of your lif…
There is no physical evidence to say that today is Friday, we all just have to trust that someone has kept count since the first one ever.
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There is no physical evidence to say that today is Friday, we all just have to …
People who sleep naked don’t have any fear of emergencies.
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People who sleep naked don’t have any fear of emergencies.
A lot of people that park like an asshole aren’t actually assholes, they just parked next to an asshole who then left.
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A lot of people that park like an asshole aren’t actually assholes, they just p…
Your current partner will be either the most important person at your wedding or not even present.
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Your current partner will be either the most important person at your wedding o…
"Noted" is the respectful corporate version of "Whatever"
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"Noted" is the respectful corporate version of "Whatever"
So many heroes would have been dead if the villain just did less talking.
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So many heroes would have been dead if the villain just did less talking.
If we successfully colonize Mars, then Earth will have its first true competitor for Miss Universe.
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If we successfully colonize Mars, then Earth will have its first true competito…
If a pet has stayed with you their full life, then from their point of view you have always existed and will always exist.
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If a pet has stayed with you their full life, then from their point of view you…
If we do live in a simulation, maybe magic did exist during the dark ages, but it was patched out by the devs.
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If we do live in a simulation, maybe magic did exist during the dark ages, but …
As a kid a wiggling tooth is exciting. As an adult a wiggling tooth is terrifying.
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As a kid a wiggling tooth is exciting. As an adult a wiggling tooth is terrifyi…
If humans didn't have 10 fingers there's a good chance we wouldn't use base 10 for our numbering system.
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If humans didn't have 10 fingers there's a good chance we wouldn't …
The generation complaining about millennials not working are the ones not hiring them.
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The generation complaining about millennials not working are the ones not hirin…
You can accidentally make a human being but you can’t accidentally bake a cake.
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You can accidentally make a human being but you can’t accidentally bake a cake.…
Sleep is the body’s best safety mechanism. It keeps you from screwing things up for 8 hours.
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Sleep is the body’s best safety mechanism. It keeps you from screwing things up…
You don’t realize how long a minute is until you start doing planks. You also don’t realize how fast a minute is until you’re waiting for your next set.
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You don’t realize how long a minute is until you start doing planks. You also d…
The Powerpuff girls get their power from Chemical X, as in the X Chromosome. Their power is girl power.
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The Powerpuff girls get their power from Chemical X, as in the X Chromosome. Th…
We miss the nineties so much because that was the last decade before the rise of social media and cellphones. Since then, our lives have been spent online and they seem to move faster and faster every No matter how synchronised synchronised swimmers are, they’ll never be as synchronised as someone that keeps unlocking the car door for you to get in and you keep pulling the handle at the same time.
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We miss the nineties so much because that was the last decade before the rise o…
If someone is cheating on their significant other to be with you, they will have no problem with cheating on you.
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If someone is cheating on their significant other to be with you, they will hav…
Your body knows how to do almost everything you learn in biology class about the human body, it just doesn't tell you.
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Your body knows how to do almost everything you learn in biology class about th…
You know you are an adult when you get excited to just go home.
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You know you are an adult when you get excited to just go home.
It's hard to let someone know that they're bad at taking criticism.
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It's hard to let someone know that they're bad at taking criticism.
Microwaves and humans both say "mmmm" when you give them food.
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Microwaves and humans both say "mmmm" when you give them food.
We're lucky we can't control and be productive in our dreams, otherwise our culture would have us studying/working 20 hours a day.
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We're lucky we can't control and be productive in our dreams, otherwise…
Being an adult is like carrying a huge ball of laundry, you think you’ve got everything under control until you look back and see all of your socks scattered across the floor.
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Being an adult is like carrying a huge ball of laundry, you think you’ve got ev…
No woman wearing a dress with pockets will fail to mention that it has pockets upon receiving a compliment on said dress.
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No woman wearing a dress with pockets will fail to mention that it has pockets …
Sleeping in your own bed after being gone for a while is one of the most satisfying things in the world.
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Sleeping in your own bed after being gone for a while is one of the most satisf…
Giving a hug and receiving a hug are two completely different feelings.
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Giving a hug and receiving a hug are two completely different feelings.
A therapy dog is essentially just a regular dog who passed a program and has an “Official Good Boy” license.
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A therapy dog is essentially just a regular dog who passed a program and has an…
It's crazy how you can be the same age as someone, but at a completely different stage in your life.
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It's crazy how you can be the same age as someone, but at a completely diff…
If your friends tell you not to give in to peer pressure and you don’t, technically, you did.
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If your friends tell you not to give in to peer pressure and you don’t, technic…
Going to the movies alone is considered odd when it’s actually the perfect activity to do alone.
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Going to the movies alone is considered odd when it’s actually the perfect acti…
3 AM is “a late night”. 5 AM is an “early morning”. 4 AM is where you just stare at the clock and try to categorise it but you can’t.
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3 AM is “a late night”. 5 AM is an “early morning”. 4 AM is where you just star…
High school is basically like a free trial on education and once you graduate they ask for $50,000 if you want to continue.
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High school is basically like a free trial on education and once you graduate t…
One day, you will either wake up and never go to sleep again, or go to sleep and never wake up again.
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One day, you will either wake up and never go to sleep again, or go to sleep an…
When you’re in 1st Grade, 6th Graders looked like adults. Then when you’re in 7th Grade, seniors look like adults. Then you’re a senior and you realise you’re still a kid.
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When you’re in 1st Grade, 6th Graders looked like adults. Then when you’re in 7…
If Apple ever made a car they would probably have oddly sized/shaped cup holders just so people would buy their custom drink containers.
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If Apple ever made a car they would probably have oddly sized/shaped cup holder…
Maybe the Mayan world-ending prediction in 2012 was more of a suggestion.
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Maybe the Mayan world-ending prediction in 2012 was more of a suggestion.
People who voluntarily take parenting classes are not the people who need to take parenting classes.
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People who voluntarily take parenting classes are not the people who need to ta…
Your dog has no idea that they’re the main reason for the walk.
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Your dog has no idea that they’re the main reason for the walk.
Your future self may be thinking about you at this very moment in time.
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Your future self may be thinking about you at this very moment in time.
The worst moment ever is when you realise that you’re the one who was wrong in the middle of an argument.
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The worst moment ever is when you realise that you’re the one who was wrong in …
Older music wasn’t better the bad stuff just wasn’t remembered.
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Older music wasn’t better the bad stuff just wasn’t remembered.
Being a Millenial is like joining a game of Monopoly when every property already has a hotel on it.
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Being a Millenial is like joining a game of Monopoly when every property alread…
Marketing Environment
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Marketing activities are influenced by several factors inside and outside a bus…
Odisha CM inaugurates World Skill Centre
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It has been set up at a budget of nearly Rs 1,342.2 crore. World Skill Centre …
Social anxiety is basically conspiracy theories about yourself.
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Social anxiety is basically conspiracy theories about yourself.
Imagine a fish coming into your living room wearing a mask and watching you eat breakfast. That’s what snorkeling is to them you sick weirdo.
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Imagine a fish coming into your living room wearing a mask and watching you eat…
Somewhere, there’s a person who recalls something brave or wise that you said or did and thinks of you as someone who really has their shit together.
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Somewhere, there’s a person who recalls something brave or wise that you said o…
The only two satisfying ways to eat popcorn is like a horse or like a lizard.
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The only two satisfying ways to eat popcorn is like a horse or like a lizard.
A stranger will remember you years from now because of some throwaway line you used in a brief conversation, and probably tells that story multiple times in his/her lifetime about you. But you’ll never When you have to study, tidying up the house suddenly becomes the best decision you took in your life.
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A stranger will remember you years from now because of some throwaway line you …
Somehow it’s socially acceptable to put another person’s genitals in your mouth, but eat ONE Skittle off the floor and you’re “gross”.
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Somehow it’s socially acceptable to put another person’s genitals in your mouth…
We try to go to bed early, so we can wake up early, to get to work early. We try to leave work early if we can, so we can make dinner early, all so we can die early from stress related diseases. Maybe Imagine how amazing a rave in an Ikea would be, like a giant house party in all the fake rooms.
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We try to go to bed early, so we can wake up early, to get to work early. We tr…
The main reason it becomes “harder” to make new friends as you get older is that you get really good at spotting red flags in people you meet.
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The main reason it becomes “harder” to make new friends as you get older is tha…
If electric eels went extinct 1000 years ago we'd probably think they were just folklore.
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If electric eels went extinct 1000 years ago we'd probably think they were …
All dogs go to heaven, even though they don’t go to a doggy church or worship a doggy deity. They go because they’re good, and that’s enough.
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All dogs go to heaven, even though they don’t go to a doggy church or worship a…
Sleeping is best enjoyed in an ice cold room with plenty of blankets.
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Sleeping is best enjoyed in an ice cold room with plenty of blankets.
The internet isn’t full of stupid people. The WORLD is. The internet is just the proof.
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The internet isn’t full of stupid people. The WORLD is. The internet is just th…
As a kid, the thought of living in a huge house was magical. As an adult, the thought of living in a huge house causes anxiety about the cleaning required.
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As a kid, the thought of living in a huge house was magical. As an adult, the t…
Doing nothing all day seems nice until you’ve actually done nothing all day and then wish you had.
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Doing nothing all day seems nice until you’ve actually done nothing all day and…
Falling back asleep is easiest when it’s time to get up.
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Falling back asleep is easiest when it’s time to get up.
If you count, your lips don't touch until you reach 1 million.
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If you count, your lips don't touch until you reach 1 million.
No one says “with all due respect” unless they know they’re about to deliver an epic smack down.
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No one says “with all due respect” unless they know they’re about to deliver an…
Parents worry about what their sons download and worry about what their daughters upload.
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Parents worry about what their sons download and worry about what their daughte…
If money wasn’t a so prevalent factor in the equation of life, more people would do what they truly love and it would make Earth an overall better place to live in.
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If money wasn’t a so prevalent factor in the equation of life, more people woul…
Somebody somewhere hates you so much because of how someone described you to them.
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Somebody somewhere hates you so much because of how someone described you to th…
It is weird how the same people who once played a main or side character in your life can suddenly become mere surprise guests.
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It is weird how the same people who once played a main or side character in you…
People who run out of shampoo and conditioner at the same time must really have their shit together.
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People who run out of shampoo and conditioner at the same time must really have…
Do you ever just crave to someone’s presence, like you would literally be happy sitting next to them in silence and appreciating their existence.
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Do you ever just crave to someone’s presence, like you would literally be happy…
Looking for a job is about convincing a bunch of Mr. Krabs that you're a Spongebob when you're actually a Patrick, until you slowly become Squidward.
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Looking for a job is about convincing a bunch of Mr. Krabs that you're a Sp…
We get angry when the person we're talking to doesn't follow the script we gave them in our head.
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We get angry when the person we're talking to doesn't follow the script…
At 29, I realised today that sweatbands on your wrists are to wipe your forehead not because your wrists get really sweaty.
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At 29, I realised today that sweatbands on your wrists are to wipe your forehea…
If you’re one of those public speakers that say “Goodmorning….Oh come on we can do better than that, GOODMORNING” I automatically do not like you from that moment on.
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If you’re one of those public speakers that say “Goodmorning….Oh come on we can…
Underwear is weird. I am currently wearing, underneath my pants, a smaller, secret pair of pants that only I know what they look like.
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Underwear is weird. I am currently wearing, underneath my pants, a smaller, sec…
All this technology and we still can’t copy and paste from a pdf.
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All this technology and we still can’t copy and paste from a pdf.
The reason why shows like Friends and The Office are so beloved is because they show us what we truly want in life - a tight knit social group that we're always a part of, no matter how bad we screw up.
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The reason why shows like Friends and The Office are so beloved is because they…
College is viewed as a necessity, yet priced as a luxury.
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College is viewed as a necessity, yet priced as a luxury.
My parents taught me to be kind and humble, honest and hardworking, and to save an unnecessary f*ckton of plastic bags under the sink.
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My parents taught me to be kind and humble, honest and hardworking, and to save…
Nobody hates Mondays. Just a lot of people hate their jobs.
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Nobody hates Mondays. Just a lot of people hate their jobs.
It is very likely that over your life you briefly interacted with a person who is absolutely perfect for you but neither of you realized it.
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It is very likely that over your life you briefly interacted with a person who …
Boys will STAY boys if we do not teach them to be accountable men.
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Boys will STAY boys if we do not teach them to be accountable men.
Aladdin's only friends were a carpet that moved, a smoking lamp and a monkey that he communicated with. He was totally just on drugs.
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Aladdin's only friends were a carpet that moved, a smoking lamp and a monke…
If everything goes smoothly, you probably won't remember today.
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If everything goes smoothly, you probably won't remember today.
When you meet new people in real life, you unlock more characters for your dream world.
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When you meet new people in real life, you unlock more characters for your drea…
Millennials are known as the generation where everyone got a trophy for participating, but no one points out the parents that kicked and screamed when their kids didn’t get a trophy.
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Millennials are known as the generation where everyone got a trophy for partici…
Privacy is being able to watch porn with the sound on.
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Privacy is being able to watch porn with the sound on.
Nothing makes you question your existence faster then when an automatic door doesn’t open for you.
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Nothing makes you question your existence faster then when an automatic door do…
Waking up in the morning sometimes feels like resuming a shitty movie you decided to quit watching.
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Waking up in the morning sometimes feels like resuming a shitty movie you decid…
You’ve probably rejected someone, who another person dreamed of dating.
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You’ve probably rejected someone, who another person dreamed of dating.
2019 will be last year of our lifes with "teen" in it.
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2019 will be last year of our lifes with "teen" in it.
We live in a age where we have to prove to machines that we are not machines.
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We live in a age where we have to prove to machines that we are not machines.
People often get dressed up nice and perfumed, to attract someone to get naked and sweaty with.
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People often get dressed up nice and perfumed, to attract someone to get naked …
We've built such a complex society that most people don't know how to live in it.
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We've built such a complex society that most people don't know how to l…
The sentence “Are you as bored as I am ” can be said backwards and still make sense.
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The sentence “Are you as bored as I am ” can be said backwards and still make s…
If Snow White married Jon Snow she would be Snow Snow.
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If Snow White married Jon Snow she would be Snow Snow.
If you are ever down about yourself, just remember that you have the same amount of superpowers as Batman.
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If you are ever down about yourself, just remember that you have the same amoun…
In our lifetime, the person we have the most conversations with is ourselves, in our own head, without saying a single word aloud.
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In our lifetime, the person we have the most conversations with is ourselves, i…
When you're in a bad mood, every bump on a road feels like a personal attack.
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When you're in a bad mood, every bump on a road feels like a personal attac…
The most crushing feeling is when someone smiles at you on the street and you don’t react fast enough to smile back.
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The most crushing feeling is when someone smiles at you on the street and you d…
People don’t really want to go back to a time when the world was simpler. They want to go back to a time when they didn’t understand how complicated the world has always been.
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People don’t really want to go back to a time when the world was simpler. They …
For depressed people, sleep is the fast forward button for life.
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For depressed people, sleep is the fast forward button for life.
2010-2014 and 2015-2019 feel like 2 different decades.
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2010-2014 and 2015-2019 feel like 2 different decades.
Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.
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Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw…
I flirt by looking at a girl and hoping she’ll be braver than I am.
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I flirt by looking at a girl and hoping she’ll be braver than I am.
I watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought “Wow, dogs are so easily entertained”. Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
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I watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought “Wow, dogs are so ea…
Chocolate is a flavour of milk, and milk is a flavour of chocolate.
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Chocolate is a flavour of milk, and milk is a flavour of chocolate.
People who can get their point across without cursing are a dying breed.
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People who can get their point across without cursing are a dying breed.
As a kid, you hate naps but adults make you. As an adult, you'd love to take a nap but no one will let you.
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As a kid, you hate naps but adults make you. As an adult, you'd love to tak…
If you made $10,000 an HOUR, it would take you almost 50 years of 40 hour work weeks to make $1 Billion (gross income).
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If you made $10,000 an HOUR, it would take you almost 50 years of 40 hour work …
Your age in years is how many times you’ve circled the Sun, but your age in months is how many times the Moon has circled you.
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Your age in years is how many times you’ve circled the Sun, but your age in mon…
Any fact about yourself that you've never told to anyone is technically one of the unknown secrets of the universe.
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Any fact about yourself that you've never told to anyone is technically one…
It’s amazing that society thinks much more highly of you if your shirt has an extra flap of fabric folded off the neck.
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It’s amazing that society thinks much more highly of you if your shirt has an e…
Gay guys are really considerate. Not only do they leave more girls for us but they take another guy with them.
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Gay guys are really considerate. Not only do they leave more girls for us but t…
We give rude elderly people the benefit of the doubt because they've been through a lot, but there's a decent chance that old person has been an as*hole their whole life.
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We give rude elderly people the benefit of the doubt because they've been t…
We really take for granted that both our legs grow at the same time and at the same rate.
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We really take for granted that both our legs grow at the same time and at the …
Most kids today will never have to face the awkwardness of calling a girl at home and having her dad answer the phone.
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Most kids today will never have to face the awkwardness of calling a girl at ho…
Foxes are cat software running on dog hardware.
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Foxes are cat software running on dog hardware.
You don’t think of teenagers as being creative problem solvers until you watch them create and execute a plan to get alcohol.
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You don’t think of teenagers as being creative problem solvers until you watch …
Nothing says "this is someone else's problem" quite like a leaf blower.
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Nothing says "this is someone else's problem" quite like a leaf b…
The phrases “ you do you” and “ go fu*k yourself” are basically saying the same, but have very different connotations.
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The phrases “ you do you” and “ go fu*k yourself” are basically saying the same…
Genuinely kind people have often been through a lot of horrible shit. They’re so kind because they understand that every person they talk to might be smack dab in the middle of some horrible shit.
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Genuinely kind people have often been through a lot of horrible shit. They’re s…
People who say “money can’t buy friendship” aren’t considering you can buy a dog.
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People who say “money can’t buy friendship” aren’t considering you can buy a do…
Harry Potter was a trust fund jock who married his high school sweetheart and became a cop.
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Harry Potter was a trust fund jock who married his high school sweetheart and b…
Straight people aren’t attracted to ALL members of the opposite sex. Gay people aren’t attracted to ALL members of the same sex. Everyone is just beauty-sexual, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
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Straight people aren’t attracted to ALL members of the opposite sex. Gay people…
Even depressed people are unsure of what to say to other depressed people.
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Even depressed people are unsure of what to say to other depressed people.
Maybe plants are really farming us, giving us oxygen until we eventually expire and turn into mulch which they can consume.
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Maybe plants are really farming us, giving us oxygen until we eventually expire…
The best murder weapon would be a Tupperware lid because nobody would ever find it.
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The best murder weapon would be a Tupperware lid because nobody would ever find…
Being “that guy people can go to about problems they’re having” is like being the only barber in town. You cut everyone else’s hair, but there’s no one to cut yours.
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Being “that guy people can go to about problems they’re having” is like being t…
Few things in life are as nice as flipping your pillow over to the cold side.
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Few things in life are as nice as flipping your pillow over to the cold side.
If you masturbate 15 minutes per day for your entire life, you will spend 1% of your life masturbating.
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If you masturbate 15 minutes per day for your entire life, you will spend 1% of…
If wisdom teeth were actually wise, they would know how to grow properly.
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If wisdom teeth were actually wise, they would know how to grow properly.
Life is just a really complicated exam, in which most people fail by copying from others, not realising that everyone has a different question paper.
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Life is just a really complicated exam, in which most people fail by copying fr…
It’s a possibility that you may have died in your sleep, but woke up in alternate universe where you didn’t.
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It’s a possibility that you may have died in your sleep, but woke up in alterna…
There is nothing better than realising, right after you wake up, that you won’t have to face repercussions for the terrible choices you made in your dream.
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There is nothing better than realising, right after you wake up, that you won’t…
As a kid, a weekend with no plans is like torture. As an adult, a weekend with no plans feels like winning the lottery.
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As a kid, a weekend with no plans is like torture. As an adult, a weekend with …
It would be so cool if dogs lived as long as humans, and if as a child you picked a puppy as a companion for the rest of your life.
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It would be so cool if dogs lived as long as humans, and if as a child you pick…
Sleep is amazing, it’s like getting a free trial of being dead every night.
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Sleep is amazing, it’s like getting a free trial of being dead every night.
You may do something for the last time in your life today.
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You may do something for the last time in your life today.
Socially anxious people often have good senses of humour because the best way to exit a conversation is to walk away during laughter.
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Socially anxious people often have good senses of humour because the best way t…
Honey is totally underrated. Its the only natural food that’s made without destroying any kind of life. It’s also the only food that won’t rot.
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Honey is totally underrated. Its the only natural food that’s made without dest…
Paying rent is just like hitting the snooze button on being homeless.
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Paying rent is just like hitting the snooze button on being homeless.
People who leave their shopping carts in the parking spaces are probably the same people who feel the need to comment how they don’t like a post.
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People who leave their shopping carts in the parking spaces are probably the sa…
Millennials were told not to talk to strangers as children, and as a result, we don’t.
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Millennials were told not to talk to strangers as children, and as a result, we…
If getting hurt physically can leave you walking with a limp, getting hurt emotionally probably leaves you thinking with a limp.
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If getting hurt physically can leave you walking with a limp, getting hurt emot…